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  #1  
Old November 27th 2005, 10:33 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Mr. Grohl,

Knowing you are an avid chess player, I was wondering if you would be interesting in playing me sometime. I understand you are very busy, so I am willing to wait until the end of your current tour before playing you in a Best of 3 chess game. I hope it will be enjoyable for you and myself, as well as the large crowd such an interesting match-up is bound to draw.

I feel we should use a glass chess set, I feel it looks better and refracts the light nicely, but I will use a standard wooden chess set if you want to.

I would also like to play you at Scrabble, but I feel that with you being American, it could lead to arguments over correct spelling, so we'll play Risk instead.

Thank you for your time,
Thomas.
  #2  
Old November 28th 2005, 12:37 AM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Are you there, Mr. Grohl?
  #3  
Old November 29th 2005, 12:43 AM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Why Don't You Love Me, Mr. Grohl???!!
  #4  
Old December 1st 2005, 06:55 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Mr. Grohl,

It seems that you haven't contacted me, I'll just assume you are busy and keep refreshing my e-mails every 2 minutes.

Waiting for you,
Thomas
  #5  
Old December 7th 2005, 10:03 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Mr. Grohl,

Still no word.... my e-mail is thom.npe@gmail.com

I think you might be trying gmale.com, that's wrong. I'll forgive you for messing it up because I'm sure you have a lot on your mind with touring and fighting crime.

Also, would you like tea or lemonade when we play our chess game? I'm going to have some tea.

By the way, I uncovered an ancient map that leads to the Holy Grail. We should follow it, because that would be awesome. You could play a show at the Grail site, or we could play Risk there.

Hope to hear from you now,
Thomas.
  #6  
Old December 8th 2005, 10:33 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Mr. Grohl,

I bought a bongo drum today.

I'll let you see it at the chess game. E-mail me.

Banging the drum,
Thomas
  #7  
Old February 13th 2006, 11:56 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Mr. Grohl,

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

If you were here, we could acquire a Valentine's themed Chess set, eh?

LOVE,
Thom
  #8  
Old February 14th 2006, 04:56 AM
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Jill Jill is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Thom I am worried about you for real.
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  #9  
Old February 14th 2006, 05:10 AM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill
Thom I am worried about you for real.
Dear Jill,

You are not Mr. Grohl.

Love,
Thom

P.S. You are still a respectable figure I'd like to play chess with though.
  #10  
Old February 15th 2006, 02:23 PM
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Jill Jill is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Thom -

I don't know how to play chess, however my 12 year old can kick your ass. I'll send her over. Please do not return her until she is 17 and not a punk. No touchie though.

Love,
Jill
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  #11  
Old February 15th 2006, 03:02 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Jill,

Chess is super fun and I'll kick your daughters proverbial chess ass, because bullying kids through chess makes me feel like a big man. No touchie though, I'm not Gary Glitter.

Love,
Thom
  #12  
Old March 10th 2006, 03:10 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Mr. Grohl,

Today something wonderful happened, I received a glass chess set from none other than Leanne of this very postboard! It was a wonderful gift and will work well when I face you in the epic struggle, so clearly both you and I owe Leanne a great deal of gratitude for this.

Also, in the video for "No Way Back", you are ice skating, it's not that much un-like chess, you know. Eh, Mr. Grohl?

Love,
Thomas
  #13  
Old March 18th 2006, 08:37 AM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Mr. Grohl,

So, ma n ST pfffadtick s dai iover!!!111 r rua you ass WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSRRRTTTTTTTTTTTEEE EEEDDDDDDDDDDDD iz immm????

I am, of course, kidding Mr. Grohl, I am not drunk as I spent the night drinking Nestea Ice Tea & Red Fruits, although, I'm sure you had a brandy or two? Am I right?

It's a shame I'm not more on top of things or the chess match could have taken place on St. Patrick's Day and all sorts of celebrations could have occurred, DAMN MY USELESS MIND!!!

I hope you had a good day, Sir and I hope you learn how to play chess, in addition to piano, as I said, I can and will teach you!

Love,
Thomas
  #14  
Old March 31st 2006, 08:05 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Mr. Grohl,

I am getting somewhat anxious now... how would you feel about playing chess via e-mail? Would that be more suitable? I know that you're a busy man but I think you could make it to a computer at least once a day to send your move! I feel it will be good practise in case you ever do decide to play me in our proposed epic battle. I'm not a creepy stalker by the way!

We could also make melon and strawberry smoothies. Why? Because it's a fun and delicious way to get your five a day. Hahahaha, good times to be had by all.

Love,
Thomas.

P.S. I'm really not a creepy stalker.
  #15  
Old April 1st 2006, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pirate Thom
P.S. I'm really not a creepy stalker.
Mmmmm...yes you are!
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  #16  
Old April 1st 2006, 11:47 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill
Mmmmm...yes you are!
Dear Jill,

Am not times infinity.

Love,
Thomas
  #17  
Old April 9th 2006, 01:40 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Mr. Grohl,

Wouldn't you say it's sad when people take a pre-existing idea which proved somewhat popular and try to make their own, lesser version of it?

Love,
Thomas
  #18  
Old April 16th 2006, 11:29 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Mr. Grohl,

Happy Easter, my good friend. I hope you got lots of chocolate, eggs and chocolate eggs. Hope everything is going well, I am itching to play you at chess as I think it would make a great PPV event, but I wouldn't charge people, I'd let everyone watch it free. Like in those movies, where everyone watches the news on a single TV in poor countries or in a shop window in rich countries. Clichés are awesome, you have to admit.

Oh well, I'll talk to you soon, I guess.

Love,
Thomas
  #19  
Old April 21st 2006, 04:51 PM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Mr. Grohl,

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. No chess related antics today.

Love,
Thomas
  #20  
Old May 4th 2006, 11:10 AM
Pirate Thom Pirate Thom is offline
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Default Re: Dear Mr. Grohl

Dear Mr. Grohl,

A foolish man once said, "Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever when they are only wasting their time." Although, what this man fails to realise is that chess is a sport of kings and has a rich history. Although, given that this man probably found chess too "hard" and stuck to Ludo or checkers or some lesser game, I suppose he can be forgiven for his narrowminded outlook.

Chess has always been considered the pursuit if the intellectual elite, a sport where one battles with brain, not brawn, in order to defeat ones opponent, so, I conclude, that chess is looked down upon by others because of its stereotype of being said "intellectual sport" when, in fact, it can also be enjoyed by the Plebeian masses.

The Plebeian mass can be divided into two further sub-groups, those who want to learn the art of chess and those who derail it due to fear of wit. A great man once said, "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." Galileo Galilei was imprisoned by this Plebeian mass for his intelligence, and it is presumed he played chess while under house arrest.

The foolish man was George Bernard Shaw.

So, I submit to you, Mr. Grohl, that we should play a game of chess.

Love,
Thomas
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